Monday, 19 June 2017

To the girl that taught me to be a Mum, Evelyn.

To the girl who taught me how to be a Mum, Evelyn.

Happy birthday my lovely girl. You arrived in my life six years ago, after a hellish pregnancy and one long, painful night and a full hour of pushing, there you were, 5lb 9oz of you and you were a dream. Sometimes I still look at you now and see the tiny little squidgy baby that you were, a baby that rarely cried, a baby that slept through the night at 12 weeks, a baby that settled in her own room on the first night, a baby that didn’t need to be rocked often or held constantly. You were just you, this calmly and quietly confident baby that knew everything was okay. Basically a mini version of the girl you are today.

You are the one who has taught me the most about being a Mum, if I make a mistake, it is usually with you, because all the firsts, they happen with you. If I get something wrong, it’s usually with you and some days you test me with your temper, your attitude and your stubbornness and from you I’m learning how to deal with all of that and you don’t hold any of it against me. You forgive me within seconds, you love unconditionally, and you comfort me sometimes when I’ve screwed up.

You are also the kid with the health problems and it never fazes you and because of that, it mostly, doesn’t faze me. Yes, I still lie awake and night and imagine the worst, of course I do, you are my baby always, but when we sit in hospital appointments and at the Drs and discuss what’s going on with you and treatments and future plans I take my lead from you, I ask questions I know you want the answers to, I take your happy, funny approach and roll with it and then we get a happy meal on the way home because that’s how you like it. (No milkshakes though, because they make you so ill) When you need to be sick you just grab a bowl or go to the loo and do it, no crying, no upset, just "Mummy i've been sick" and its over with, back to normal routine. You astound me, everyday with your chilled, calm approach to life. 

When we had you we never talked about the time-frame of having another baby but a succession of siblings have arrived and I know they drive you nuts (by “they” I mean Ivy, the kid can annoy you like no other) but I hope you know that they are probably the best gift we could ever of given you. Ivy is  your best friend, you are lost when the other isn’t around, you don’t sleep properly if one is missing, you know each other better than Daddy and I know you and even though I shout and tell you off, listening to you mess around and be silly together makes me smile and I know as far as Ivy goes you probably sometimes get the short end of the stick, mostly because Ivy is a bloody fearless warrior and Satan himself would send her back but you take it in your stride and I thank you for that, you make my days so much easier with your grace. You are the best big sister to Arlo and Penelope, you are rough and tumble with Arlo making him squeal and you are gentle and careful with Penelope, you understand the difference between them.
And that leads me to this, I am so proud of you my girl, for so many things. You are so beautiful, with your blonde hair and your long legs, you are totally different to your siblings, sometimes I look at you and It stops me how pretty and beautiful you are but you are also so much more than that, you are funny, you have a wicked sense of humor, you make everyone laugh. You are kind and considerate to everyone around you. You are sensitive to people’s feelings and to how people make you feel. You are such a worrier, you fret and panic about the smallest of things. You are meticulous in your approach to some tasks, you are a leader when you want to be but you will follow when the time is right, you have a quiet confidence and you are quietly smashing it at school. You are a thousand magical things and you have given me over 2 thousand magical days and I would have you a thousand times over. 

<3